Are we stupid? (Aka Days 69 and 70)

Corona Virus, Day 69. Don’t snigger. “69.” {You’ll be okay; it’s not like we don’t know what the implications of “69” are}. We do, or at least we should (unless you are a child). If your primary language is not English, or you don’t have that expression in your native language–or maybe if your culture doesn’t 69, then it is not reasonable of me to assume you know the expression. In that case, I apologize. However, most of the English speaking adults here should actually get the naughty reference, and kids should not be reading this. This is especially true since I got rid of the rashy corona kids and the tripped out kid from the dentist video who asked, “Is this real life?” Yes, it is indeed real life, which is why we might, in fact, be stupid. Very stupid. (I’m talking about Corona virus, not the sexual act of 69, in case you weren’t sure). I don’t even want to speculate about the connection between “69” and intelligence. Strangely, I’ve only just noticed that the phone thing (*69) is in fact “star 69.” 6 and 9 are, visually, the same thing, but reversed, as in two people performing the act itself, position wise. Wow! Do you think the people who came up with “star 69” were being naughty themselves? Were they just bored and wondered if anyone would notice? Maybe they didn’t even notice what they had done themselves. Star sixty nine. I never even thought of it myself, until just this very moment. Had you ever noticed?

“Tell me, Ms. Fiesty Quill, why do you say we are stupid?” you may ask. Yes, you may, but if you pause to think about it, you already know that I’m right and you can probably think of your own reasons to prove it. We probably are very, very stupid. First, we don’t know the difference between Iraq and Iran. Maybe that’s just me, sorry. Second, a lot of people don’t know how to spell aggressive. I do, beause I was a cheerleader. “Be aggressive, be, be aggressive. Be a-g-g-r-e-ssive.” Peppy. Motivating. Aggressive. Or we don’t know how to spell iliterate, or illiterate, if you thought that first one was correct. Ha, fooled you. Also, so few people know how to manage its or it’s correctly. They also don’t know how to use apostrophes or quotation marks, which drives me bonkers. I hate when I go into a store and there is a sign that says, “Banana’s.” (Bananas is a plural, not a possessive). Or a sign that says “Bananas” with quotation marks. Who are they quoting? Sheesh! Unless, to give the poor writer-of-the sign the benefit of the doubt, perhaps their manager said, “Hey, bananas are on sale today.” We could theorize the lowly, underpaid staff member just wanted to give the manager credit for the answer to the customer’s unspoken question. “What’s on sale today?” (“Well,” thinks the writer of the sign, “As per my manager, “Bananas.” Since the lowly, underpaid staff member didn’t want to plagiarize, they used quotations on the sign, which is actually quite admirable.

Let’s not forget the people who have no idea how to use punctuation in general, so they throw it all in together, a jumble of words, random capital letters (not capitol), colons, quotation marks, commas, and the like. Before you write to me angrily, please know that I know very well that I am not perfect. I just wish I were. (Subjunctive). Further, I do know one ought not start a sentence with an “and” or “but,” but sometimes I want to do it anyway, which I would then do, defiantly, as a stylistic choice. Besides, I feel like I’ve earned it, seeing as I can often accurately use quotation marks and other punctuation correctly. Often, not always. As for whether punctuation goes inside or outside the parenthesis, that really depends on whether it ends the sentence or not. Yes, the plural is parenthises but the whole discussion has become ludicrous because a) nobody is reading this; b) even if you are reading this, you have probably lost interest (I know I did); and c) parenthesis is almost always used in the plural. Who would ever speak about a single parenthisis? That would be like Bonnie without Clyde, or salt without pepper. God, if you actually are talking about either parenthesis or parenthesis in your off hours, please remind me to never go to your house for dinner. I am sooo bored already. Finally, let’s not forget d). One or more of my siblings could be reading, which means I was inaccurate about a) but the reading siblings would simply shake their heads and say, “Get on with it, Feisty.” I agree, with apologies for all the errors I have made thus far and will make in the future, as well as any boredom I have caused you. Sorry about that.

I DO have to get on with it or else I won’t get this up and posted before Day 69 is up, and none of us wants to go through any of that 69 stuff again! So, with this lengthy aside, I propose that we will discount all I have just discussed about stupidity because thus far it was only about poor spelling and grammar. Some of my favorite people are terrible at grammar, and they are actually quite bright. Or were, because my very favoritest favorite of the bad-at-grammar people, died two years ago, sadly. Let’s just go forward and agree that absolutely all of what I have just written has almost no bearing whatsoever on whether or not people are stupid. Phew. Furthermore, when I make mistakes (in this blog entry especially), I ask that you please ignore them! Thank you. Now there is simply an enormous amount of internal pressure and anxiety I’ve created here for myself regarding my grammar, spelling, and other things which could prove that people are stupid. On the other hand, it could be argued that I am supporting my own points about stupidity. This is so meta; I just can’t lose! Oh, by the way, it’s Day 70 now. Shit.

Let’s begin with my all-new evidence of human stupidity, my own rant above not withstanding. Evidence 1, Day 69…and some people are still refusing to wear masks. I know, masks are annoying, but really, they do help prevent the spread of COVID-19, aka our old pal, Corona Virus. Or at least I think so, but only if we wear them right and continue to wash our hands a lot. On the other hand, we are stupid so…

Evidence 2: Ordering, then eating, a large pepperoni pizza, and washing it down with a diet coke.

Evidence 3. Within my third bit of evidence, not only are some people refusing to wear masks, some people think their right not to do so is so important that they will chant, rally, and storm just to stupidly “prove” their stupid right to stupidly not wear masks. Even more severe, the same type of stupid people might even, I dunno, shoot other people who explain that they must follow a store policy. This was a policy which intelligently refuses to let a customer without a mask enter the store. In May 2020, when that shooting happened to a now-dead security guard at the CA equivalent of the “Dollar Store,” we had definitely gone too far. Certainly we have gone too far with the mask thing, especially since the mask wearing was not just a policy, but a MANDATE by the Governor. Then again, it was in Flint, Michigan so the guy might have just died from the poisoned water before too long, anyway. (Too soon?). I am a very strong believer in the rights to freedom, but when your insistence on your right to refuse a mask can compromise my health and possibly lead to my death, you can just fuck off and please wear a mask.