Question: Do fleas work in tandem, or do they just like symmetry? Two nights ago, we were watching Netflix (the Great British Baking Show, if you must know. It’s not overly personal, so I feel that’s okay to share with you all). That’s when I felt something get me. Mosquito? Flea? We kept watching. Eventually the show ended. I was surprised that the judges didn’t send Stuart home, because he he was awful, but that was coming…spoiler alert: his elimination happened last night, in fact, and sweet, blushing Stuey got the kibosh after a collapsed custard. After the show, Spouse and I went to bed. I woke up with two, small red bites on the sides of my knees, one on each side.
Here’s a new idea. Perhaps it is neither one nor two of the bastards, but an entire fleet of fleas that attacks, each of them taking one teeny, tiny cruel nibble of the victim’s vulnerable, partially bare flesh. Maybe for ages the scientist-people and the rest of us have just assumed it is only one flea that does the biting, but really, it is a colletion of the buggers, snipping and nibbling away, almost like a yap yap dog, but a little smaller. (A little smaller. Please check out my yap yap dogs entry if you hate those dogs as much as I do, or if you are a weird sadist and the thought of yap yaps possibly facing an undisclosed possible demise interests you. No spoilers here).
Ah, but fleas. Singular, paired, or fleet style, I hate those bastards, as do most normal people. The unfortunate thing is that the flea attack was partly our fault because we were exactly one day behind on using our flea poisoning prevention kit for the royal beast (also known as the cat). Exactly how the flea knew that it was the 16th and not the 15th of June I could not say; I didn’t even know fleas have calendars, let alone flea calendars accurate to the precise day. Come to think of it, since the flea bite was not today, but actually two days before I am writing this post (which is today) the damn fleas came a day early on the 14th, not on the 15th at all! God damn mis-calendar-reading fleas!
How a flea would know what date it is, especially from a broken calendar, I also could not tell you, so I guess the “reapply every month” flea poison manufacturers were probably just estimating, too. The flea poison people estimated; the fleas estimated, and we weren’t perfect either. Thus, you have a perfect storm and now I have two symmetrical bites on my knees.(In summer, the flea offense is knees because I’m always wearing shorts; in winter, it would be near my socks because I’m always wearing socks. Why they like those locations, I couldn’t say). Also, we clearly need a better brand of flea poison! Regardless, the exploration brings us back to the original question, “Do fleas work in tandem or do they just like symmetry?”
As an aside, “Fleas, Tandem, and Symmetry” is also an excellent name for a Grunge band. I get to play drums. The fact that I don’t play drums does not seem relevant here, because we also don’t have a band, and this is just pretend. Besides, I doubt clarinets are very prevelant in Grunge music.