This morning I spent roughly and hour and a half talking with my friend and editor, Andrew. Andrew is also a writer, so I feel very comfortable having him help me. Plus, he offered. I’ve known Andrew since 6th grade (I think) when we hung out and talked about books together. We read Stephen King’s “The Shining,” which I think is pretty smart for little kids. (I don’t have any kids of my own so I have no yardstick). The purpose of our meeting (thank you, Zoom. Damn, I wish I had stock!) was to work on the edits for my book. We’ve just started, and this was our very first work meeting. It took almost 1/2 an hour to get it all figured out, both the technical piece and the comfort piece. (“Wait, no use this email for the invite, oh, never mind, this is the professional one. Oh, hang on, I need some water. And maybe a beer.” (Just kidding about the beer). Water in hand, Zoom meeting launched, we began. We talked about the book for a little over an hour. First, I want to say to the public (and mostly because I hope he is reading this), Andrew is a rock star. He’s funny, he’s kind, and he said nice things about my blog and my book. Yay, Andrew. He also gave me intelligent suggestions, so his feedback was useful, not just ass-kissing. You can keep the job of editor! (Sorry I can’t pay you…yet).
One tricky part is this: how do I write, be it for the blog or my book, while granting people the privacy they deserve, and at the same time putting them into my writing? It’s my writing. I want to write, untethered, free to write and roam as my creative mind seems fit. It’s my life after all. However, there is an overlap, of course. It’s my life…but it’s theirs, too.
“They” are in in my life, part of my life. They are also real people, though, and they deserve privacy (if they want it). My spouse just wants to be called Spouse, so that’s what I call him. One person I know asked not to be in my writing at alI; I honor that so he appears nowhere in it. In other cases, I’ve already changed people’s names, using fake names pre-approved by them. Except if they are the bad guys. The bad guys can fuck off.
In other words, writing for a blog (or a book) requires some edits that, left to my own, I might not want to make. However, I recognize the importance of “left to my own,” which is all about me, me, me, so I make that creative sacrifice because I don’t want to be left on my own!
The editing process of words is a little like the KonMari book,”Magic of Tidying Up.” Does it give you joy? Keep it. If it doesn’t, and if you don’t really need it, let it go. Editing words, deleting ideas. One of the big thoughts I was left with after my Zoom with Andrew is just how many words I don’t want, need, or even like in my writing. Out they’ll go. In improvisation classes I’ve taken, it’s called “kill your babies.” Improvisers also say ideas are like Kleenex: get one, try it, throw it out, try another. Kleenex is definitely a gentler metaphor than dead babies. [As an aside, Andrew does not edit my blogs, so, you know, grammar, spelling and/or content mistakes like dead babies are all mine here.]
The connection between KonMari, editing, and getting it all down to the “One Box” I wrote about last time is this: as we move to less, we can also move to more. Greater simplicity, greater joy. As we do that, we can see how much we do have to appreciate. A friend of mine who is happily home-schooling her children (as many–if not most– parents will be doing thanks to Covid), has noticed how much more time she has. She works while her children do homework. They all cook dinner together. Hours spent shuttling kids back and forth to school and activities are now hours spent doing other things. Less is more.
I remember somewhere hearing (or reading–there’s that nasty word again!) that when you think of what you want but don’t have, you could, instead, think of all the other things you don’t have that you don’t want. (You know, things like cancer, syphilis, scurvy). It makes you grateful.
Editing. Thank you, Andrew.