Dreaming of Celebrities

From the title, you might guess this entry has nothing to do with politics, Covid, or marshmallows. (Bet you didn’t expect that one, did you?)

I have dreamt about four celebrities in my life: Emma Thompson, Kenneth Branagh, John Cusack, and Simon Cowell, in chronological order. I’ve had dinner with John.

            Kenneth was part of the dream-package-deal with Emma. He was just a minor character, really. In 1995, I lived in England with my then boyfriend, now husband, Jack. I would actually meet Emma in person four years later, again in England, when we went back to live a second time. In the dream, for whatever reason, Emma and Kenneth had invited me to their home for dinner. I remember that it was a very modern, slick kitchen, lots of stainless steel. The kitchen was huge, but I never did know if Emma cooked the dinner, or if somebody else did, such as Kenneth or an employee. There was nobody else in the dream, though, besides Emma, Kenneth and me, so I doubt it. I remember being in the kitchen with Emma; She was putting out some crackers and cheese. I don’t remember the kind, but they were simple ones, not Ritz, but just some kind of white crackers—oh, shit, what are those called? Water crackers? Table crackers? They weren’t on a table, though, at least not yet, because she was still putting them on a platter while the two of us stood in the kitchen and talked.

            In the dream, Kenneth and Emma were both very nice, and I remember having a glass of red wine together in a minimalist living room. While I remember the kitchen well, the living room was not as striking–or at least not as post-dream memorable–mainly because I wasn’t impressed by their couch. By other people’s standards, the couch would be lovely, I’m sure. It just wasn’t my cup of tea. Besides, we were drinking wine before dinner, as I already told you, not tea. (Not my cup of tea, get it?). I never did get to have dinner with them, sadly, because in the way that dreams do, it dissolved and became something else–or nothing else. Still, I had been in their house, had a class of wine with them, and been in Emma Thompson and Ken’s kitchen. So cool! They were married then; I’m pretty sure they got divorced at some point. I don’t really follow celeb news, even though I’ve dream-met them and been in their house. Years later, in real life, I was an extra in a movie starring Emma Thompson, “Wit,” and I got to see her in action. It was pretty cool, and, as you would expect, she was very nice. I didn’t tell her about my dream, though. That would have seemed weird and mildly stalker-ish.

The second celebrity I dreamt of was of a celebrity I had actually met before: John Cusack. After the first time we lived in England, Jack and I lived in Wisconsin for a while, which happened to be where they were filming “High Fidelity.” (Great movie by the way, though to my mind, definitely not as good as “Grosse Pointe Blank.”). In real life, my friend was having a scandalous affair with the co-writer of the movie, and he (the guy my friend was having an affair with) invited us on set. (FYI, my friend and her screen writer boyfriend got married eventually, too, so not that scandalous after all). Jack and I got to watch one scene of “High Fidelity” being filmed, in real life! It was initially very exciting, at least to me. I could have watched for hours, which there were, because movie-making takes a long, long time. It’s actually kind of boring if you want to know the truth, but it was the first time I’d been on a set so it wasn’t boring yet. My tolerance for watching movie-people film a scene over and over is pretty high. It’s quite a lot higher than others, specifically Jack’s. We left sooner than I would have liked because he was ready to go. So, we did. We were newly married and I know it takes some compromising–and giving in– to make a marriage thrive. I definitely wanted to make our fledgling marriage work, even though I could have watched the filming of that “High Fidelity” scene longer. So far, we’ve been married 21 years, so I think it was a good call.

            The connection to my friend’s status in “High Fidelity” is, indeed, what led to Jack and I having dinner with John Cusack. In real life. Because I knew I was going to see our screen-writer friend of a friend, the Fof, I knew there was a very real possibility that Jack and I were going to see John Cusack when we met up with FoF a second time. (They were both in London working on their movie stuff.) That fact was also the impetus and the material for my second celebrity dream. In the dream, I invited them both over for dinner. I was buzzing with excitement when they came. (I should have been terrified; I’m a horrible cook. Then again, our second period living in England was what I call “my cooking phase” and I had mastered some great dishes. I digress). Anyway, I was preemptively annoyed because I knew I was going to have to ask John to please smoke outside because I didn’t want him to smoke inside the house. What a wasted opportunity! To have a dream about John Cusack and not even get to, I dunno, be naughty with him? Or at least not be naughty at all and just play Monopoly or something? Jack and I were still newly married (it was only about six months later that we had moved from Wisconsin back to England), so for fidelity’s sake I’m glad that it wasn’t a sexual dream, but asking John to please smoke outside? Really? Is that the best my dream could do?! Actually, I think John is a great actor but I’m not really attracted to him. Maybe that’s why my dream was so dull.

Back in real life, F-o-F invited us to join him in London for a late dinner. First, though, he had tickets to watch a showing of “The Beach” with Leonardo DiCaprio. He couldn’t go, because of work, so he wanted to give us the tickets! Their crew was still working and would be for a few more hours. (By this point they were doing the soundtrack for the movie. “High Fidelity” is all about audiophiles, so the soundtrack was incredibly important! I guess it’s cheaper to do editing and sound in London). We accepted, of course, and gladly agreed to see the movie in his stead and meet him after. When we went to the movie, by sheer chance, we ended up sitting just a few rows behind Mr. DiCaprio. Wow! “The Beach” isn’t a great film, certainly not nearly as good as “High Fidelity” (which isn’t as good as “Grosse Pointe Blank”), so I was glad I got to watch Leo’s reactions instead of him seeing mine. (Grimace emoji!). We watched the movie, which was fairly uneventful really, once the buzz wore off. No popcorn incidents or anything! The movie itself was on the uneventful side, too, if a 20+ year memory serves. In the years that followed, we liked to call the experience “going to the movies with Leonardo DiCaprio.” When we met F-o-F for dinner at his hotel, lo and behold, who was also at the table? If you guessed John Cusack, you’re right. Great job! There were a bunch of other people, too, but I try to write them out of the story. It’s not as fun to say, “I had dinner with John Cusack and a bunch of people” as saying “I had dinner with John Cusack.” It might be cheating, but hey. Suffer. There is nothing juicy to report about the dinner, really. Fiery conversation about the crew and the director they were working with, lively discussion about how to work with someone you are at loggerheads with, or at the very least someone who approaches stuff completely differently than you do (John, FoF, and the director, of course). John Cusack is very nice man and a great conversationalist. He’s someone you’d want to sit down to dinner with. Oh, that’s right; I did! Unlike the red wine and the crackers I dreamt with Emma, I have no idea what I ate for dinner. Still, in real life and for the rest of my life, I can boast that I had dinner with John Cusack!

            Fourth and finally, I dreamt about Simon Cowell. Even though by that time Jack and I had been married for 10 years, this dream wasn’t naughty either. It was more complex than that. In the dream, I wasn’t married. Nope, Simon and I were having a relationship. (I was watching a lot of “American Idol” in those days.) Maybe Simon was having an affair; I dunno if he was married in the dream. If he was married, he didn’t tell me. I don’t know if he’s married in real life, either. Anyway, the dream was complicated because he thought he might have to break up with me. He told me he was falling in love with me. Oh, that’s right! He must have been married, and that’s why he wanted to break up. Falling in love with me was complicating his life; his feelings were just overpowering. Poor Simon!

            It was a funny dream because it has had lasting effects. Now I feel as if I know Simon Cowell better because of our dream relationship. It’s rare that he cries on “Idol,” but he really does have a softer side. (I know, because I’ve seen it.) I understand him in a much more intimate way than people who haven’t had an affair with him. Ha ha. I know that’s not true; I don’t actually know him at all, but it feels like it. After all, he was falling in love with me, you know. Since I had that dream, when I see clips on YouTube (is “American Idol” still even on?), I feel connected to my dream-ex in a way others can’t possibly. I know he stopped judging the show at some point, and that’s a shame. Maybe that’s when I stopped watching, too!

            Now that I’ve detailed my four celebrity dreams (to what purpose and for whom I couldn’t explain), I’ve just remembered one more, the fifth. I dreamt I took an acting class with Dustin Hoffman, and it was awesome. When I woke up, it really did feel like it had happened, which was wonderful. Maybe I’m a better actor now, thanks to studying with one of the best, let alone being on set with Emma Thompson. Of course, my acting class with Hoffman didn’t happen in real life, but I really did have dinner with John Cusack.