Here we are again. Another chance. Another start.
Naughty Devil: “She’s never going to make it.”
Good angel: “2025! It’s another year. THIS time we’ll work out, clean the house, eat right, exercise, read books instead of watch TV, right?”
Me: “Yeah, but… it’s cold and grey and sitting under the covers sounds really good, too. Besides, if I snuggle and pull up my blanket real tight, that’s resistance exercise, right?”
Good angel: “Um, no.”
Me: “Potatoes are a vegetable right?”
Angel: “Technically, but they really are just carbohydrates, pretending to be a vegetable. They are NOT good for you!”
Me: “Maybe, but they are a vegetable.”
Angel sighs. “Technically, but—.”
Me: “I’m going to eat some potato chips, then. Potatoes are vegetables, you said so yourself!”
Devil: “Score one for me!”
Angel: “Okay, so what about exercise?”
Me: “I swam yesterday.”
Angel: “You are supposed to exercise ‘most days.’”
Me: “It’s only Wednesday, and, like I said, I swam yesterday.”
Devil: “You can exercise tomorrow.”
Angel: “But you’re eating potato chips!”
Me: “It’s a holiday!”
Devil: “She’s right. It IS a holiday. “
Angel: “You’re both right. It IS a holiday, but…”
“Okay, what about the house? Didn’t you say you wanted to clean the entire house before the new year? Isn’t it the New Year, now?”
Devil: “It is.”
Me: “It is. But it’s a holiday!”
~End scene~
And so it goes, until the devil and I beat the angel to a pulp, I decide to watch TV, eat potato chips, and begin my NEW New Year exactly as I began “New Years” of the past: eating potato chips, and watching TV instead of reading.
It IS the New Year, but my 26th wedding anniversary is tomorrow, and my husband and I are going out to dinner, of course. I think you have to have dessert on your anniversary, it’s like a ritual. I’ll start New on Friday. Promise.
Wish me luck.
